Leadership Turn

Your Tone of Voice Matters

by Mary Jo Manzanares on September 9th, 2006

“Watch your tone with me, young lady!” 

I heard that so many times when I was a teenager.  I’d grumble back, always under my breath, “I don’t have any tone,” or “What tone would you like me to use, then.”  Thanks goodness neither Mom nor Dad ever heard me.  Or, if that did, they just chose to let it go.

Unfortunately, many of us continue to use “that tone” on into adulthood, injecting it into our business relationships when things don’t seem to go our way.  Just as it was annoying and rude when we were younger, it is equally inappropriate (and still rude) in a business environment.

Our voice is a tool, and used effectively, is one of the most powerful in our toolbox.  Just as important as what we say, however, is how we say it – the tone of our voice is part of that.

If our tone conveys an undercurrent of anger or frustration, sounds distracted or preoccupied, or is heavy with sarcasms, it will influence how others hear what we are saying and how they interpret our message.  A misinterpretation, based on our tone, will garble the message, at best, or lead to a giant misunderstanding.  Misunderstandings in our workplace can be the downfall of a team, lead to unnecessary expenses, or create a hostile work environment.

On the telephone, it is even more vital to watch the tone in our voice.  A listener can’t see our face, or watch our body language, so all they have to go on are our words and our tone.  We need to make sure the two are in harmony for the most effective communication.

How can we guard against that tone?  If you feel it creeping into your voice, slow down or stop, take a deep breath, and start again.  Or, if you realize ,after the fact, that your tone may have garbled your message, make amends by apologizing for sending out a mixed message, clarify it, and then move forward.

Let’s work on keeping our message and tone congruent, and on becoming the best communicator possible.

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POSTED IN: Communication