Comments on: Your Tone of Voice Matters http://www.leadershipturn.com/132/ Articles, tips, and resources about leadership. Fri, 19 Mar 2010 16:44:47 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: Elaine A. Hoffman Halley http://www.leadershipturn.com/132/comment-page-1/#comment-14062 Elaine A. Hoffman Halley Fri, 01 Jan 2010 20:40:20 +0000 http://www.leadershipturn.com/132/#comment-14062 I have known from my early childhood that "It is not WHAT you say, but, HOW you say it. My father was verbally and phyically abusive to my mother. He broke her arm hitting her with a TV antenna, and trying to commit her to a mental health facility when I was 10 years old. My father passed away at the age of 67 in 1970, and my younger brother who was 16 quit school and moved out of state at that time. He also verbally and physically attacked my mother, and is verbally to me. When someone raises their voice to me,I retreat into my shell, and I hide. I have been told that "because I wear hearing aids,they have to speak louder to communicate with me", but I can tell the difference between amplification and sarcasm. One of my husbands' sisters live 6 hours away. While we both enjoy and love them; when they start to "banter with each other"( which is loud) we both feel uncomfortable. My brother-in-law is a naval retired veteran with many years service. He always has to to be RIGHT. I don't know if this a male inherited gene(trait) or not. I have sought mental health assistance, with a psychiatrist who only prescibed every known drug. They only made me sleep many more hours and didn't address the problem. No counseling was given. My husband is now retired, and we are having more arguments. He is also adding weapons to his hobby of target shooting. Although he has tried to educate me about guns, I feel uncomfortable. I know it is my problem, not his. I don't know what I should do. I have known from my early childhood that “It is not WHAT you say, but, HOW you say it. My father was verbally and phyically abusive to my mother. He broke her arm hitting her with a TV antenna, and trying to commit her to a mental health facility when I was 10 years old.
My father passed away at the age of 67 in 1970, and my younger brother who was 16 quit school and moved out of state at that time. He also verbally and physically attacked my mother, and is verbally to me.

When someone raises their voice to me,I retreat into my shell, and I hide. I have been told that “because I wear hearing aids,they have to speak louder to communicate with me”, but I can tell the difference between amplification and sarcasm.

One of my husbands’ sisters live 6 hours away. While we both enjoy and love them; when they start to “banter with each other”( which is loud) we both feel uncomfortable. My brother-in-law is a naval retired veteran with many years service. He always has to to be RIGHT. I don’t know if this a male inherited gene(trait) or not.

I have sought mental health assistance, with a psychiatrist who only prescibed every known drug. They only made me sleep many more hours and didn’t address the problem. No counseling was given.

My husband is now retired, and we are having more arguments. He is also adding weapons to his hobby of target shooting. Although he has tried to educate me about guns, I feel uncomfortable. I know it is my problem, not his.

I don’t know what I should do.

]]> By: Tone of Voice Matters in Couples Counseling | The Marriage Counseling Blog http://www.leadershipturn.com/132/comment-page-1/#comment-1951 Tone of Voice Matters in Couples Counseling | The Marriage Counseling Blog Mon, 02 Feb 2009 12:51:09 +0000 http://www.leadershipturn.com/132/#comment-1951 [...] one expert puts it: Our voice is a tool, and used effectively, is one of the most powerful in our toolbox. [...] [...] one expert puts it: Our voice is a tool, and used effectively, is one of the most powerful in our toolbox. [...]

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