I love writing rhymes, but I take no credit for this one. Business Week’s Marc Miller, as edited by Deborah Stead did a terrific job encompassing Business2007 in this witty, slightly irreverent rhyme.

Many Happier Returns
2007, Christmastime:

The season may seem, well, sub-prime.
It’s hard to keep up calm composures
Totting up last week’s foreclosures,
Nor do sunken CDOs
Inspire hearty ho-ho-hos.
Add to those a plunging buck:
How long will it be out of luck?
But for a nanosec, what say
We stow the doom and gloom away
And summon better times, not worse,
With this, a modest yuletide verse,
A yuletide verse that for a change’ll
Not be penned by Roger Angell:
Many happier returns
To Merrill, Citi, and Bear Stearns.
To Ford, a hybrid SUV
That gets 100 mpg.
To Apple, after iPhone/iPod,
One more smash to form a tripod.
For 3M, at least a mockup
Of some goo that sends your stock up.
Amazon: We pray the wind’ll
Fill your sails as you launch Kindle,
And let’s hope those inkjets might
Make Eastman Kodak’s picture bright.
May the 787
Rocket Boeing’s stock to heaven,
And, in going still more global,
Please get greener, ExxonMobil.
Motorola, time has flown;
May you get past the 3G phone,
And may the cash flow stay as free
At IBM and P&G.
Biofood, please be Viagra,
Lifting profits at ConAgra.
Post-misguided market hype,
May eBay soon bounce back from Skype.
May Walt Disney’s wish be granted,
That its grosses stay Enchanted.
Anyway, of this we’re certain:
Nothing will harm Halliburton.
On a human scale, a thankee
To Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke;
Keeping rates so calibrated
Isn’t easy, as you’ve stated.
Let a rum and Coke be sent
To new Coke honcho Muhtar Kent,
While Howard Schultz, we hope that Starbucks
Still pulls in the coffee-bar bucks.
Richard Branson, further glory
Spreading Virgin territory
(Hope you’re not in for a shock
Should you acquire Northern Rock).
Google’s looking pretty fit;
We hope it stays so, Eric Schmidt,
But if you find you have to rough it,
Rough it à la Warren Buffett.
Let more Hockneys be bestowed
On Eli Broad (it rhymes with “road”),
While for Jeff Zucker, this we’d like,
A swift end to the writers’ strike.
Martha Stewart, season’s greeting;
How’s that linzer torte you’re eating?
Share a piece with Jerry Yang,
Who’s talking shop with Dennis Hwang,
But don’t give one to Roger Ailes,
You’ll tip the fair-and-balanced scales.
Here’s a hope not too much work’ll
Spoil the season for Ron Burkle,
Nor will hours on the phone
Keep Christmastime from John Malone.
Lastly, heartfully expressed:
Rupert Murdoch, take a rest.
For us working stiffs, well, peace,
And no more U.S. debt increase,
A White House race that’s not just ads
Or faux debates or hanging chads.
For readers, Web or otherwise,
A font that doesn’t strain your eyes,
And no more news of Britney Spears
For 10, no, make that 50, years.
For well-behaving girls and boys,
A sleigh of not-from-China toys.
May hooked-on-Facebook teens find smiles
In umptymillion Facebook files.
Us fortysomethings hope we gaze
On ever-swelling IRAs,
And may well-heeled retirees
Survive those 401(k) fees.

Have a happy, celebrate,
And see you in 2008.

Have you written any good (or otherwise) rhymes lately? Share them—please!

Your comments—priceless

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I love Google Alerts, they help me find stuff I’d never find on my own making it easy for us non-surfing, lazy folks. That’s how I happened to see the post on CEO Jim Estill’s blog. You need to read it (it doesn’t take that long) for the rest of my post to make sense.

Following Jim’s lead, block out at least an hour a week (more is better) to stop being busy—no email, no texting, no phone, no surfing, no ipod, no TV, no nothing—and just let your mind roam. Don’t push it, let it mull. Suggest subjects, but don’t force them if your mind wants to go elsewhere.

It will take some practice and don’t be surprised if you hear your mental mulling gears creaking in their effort to turn, but persevere. The results will be well worth the effort.

And if you’re working to increase innovation in your company you’ll find integrating an uncharted hour into your corporate culture will go a long way to making that happen.

Busy is not conducive to creative thinking!

Think about which gives the highest ROI then print it and tape it on your monitor, the mirror’s in the restrooms and wherever else you choose.

Then DO it.

When do you do your most creative thinking?

Your comments—priceless

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The old adage “praise in public and criticize in private” should be the guiding light for bosses looking to provide a year-end wrap-up of how the company (or any organization) did along with a rallying cry for the coming year.I’d like to share a superb example of this in the form of an email sent by the CEO of a small company with which I work that’s coming off a bit of a rocky year. Only the names (company and people) were changed for confidentiality.

From: Chuck Lorkin
Date: December 28, 2007 11:23:08 AM PST
To: All@QuikTap.com
Subject: What to expect in 2008

Hello Team QuikTap,

I am very proud of the effort you have all put in to ensure us moving forward during the past year. Every area of the company has experienced major improvements, but what stands out most are the accomplishments of the product development team (especially Jim with help from Geoff & Roger) in launching QuikTap Query Version 5. Through their work we have become one of the top three vendors in our market in look & feel and we are #1 in ease-of-use coupled with breadth of functionality and transaction processing power.

Several of you are asking how QuikTap will do in the worsening general economic climate. We are well positioned due to several factors, most of them resulting from our strategic decision to build the business without significant outside investment:

- QuikTap has a very low cost base and higher productivity per dollar than comparable software firms. Part of this is due to making our operations very efficient during our lean years of low sales.

- QuikTap’s products are positioned to have high functionality at a relatively low price – we are more affordable than our competitors. In an environment where corporations are spending less on IT, they will be more inclined to purchase software that delivers 80% of the functionality at 20% of the cost.

- QuikTap has a more efficient marketing infrastructure than our competitors. Each dollar used on marketing has a significantly higher return. According to our calculations, we have an advantage to our competitors of a factor of 10.

During this quarter we have augmented the sales team by hiring a Sales Manager (Sharon) and a new rep (Jerry). As a result, we expect 2008 to be a much stronger year in sales – both have previous experience with product marketing and sales of information capture products. Another noteworthy point, from a sales perspective, is that QuikTap is the best branded company in its field on the Internet. Craig has done exceptional work with online marketing, thinking innovatively and getting us to a first page position for all important search terms and with respect to social networking. This is bringing in leads and creates relationships that were previously outside our reach.

We also have an inchoate business development effort led by Tom who is collaborating with retailers and software vendors to increase our visibility and create partnerships.

Support response times are lower and greater satisfaction from customers is making it significantly easier for the sales team to interact with customers. The people in support keep on churning out solutions for our customers, in effect creating the basis for the company to leverage upon.

In 2008 I expect that the platform we have built during the past 18 months will begin to generate significant revenues. Having good marketing and sales teams, commencing business development and having good products to leverage in the market will move us into a leading position in our industry.

I am grateful that I have the opportunity to work with the team we have now and look forward to QuikTap growing by leaps and bounds in 2008.

Chuck

How do you wrap up the year in your organization?

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The Challenge

Kay’s finally settling into her role as entrepreneur. She’s enjoyed hearing success stories from others, learning new tips and techniques and gaining advice from this great group of business bloggers at b5. Her days are full and she rarely has time to sift through the volumes of content on the web. So, she asks you: if she only read one post ever on b5’s Business Channel, what would it be?

Congratulations, Kay! You came through this holiday season with flying colors and your KidChef products are still selling like crazy. By mail and email, every day brings glowing letters from parents and kids about how much they like them and how they never thought cooking together could be this much fun.

Your kids love telling all their friends about them and your daughter even insisted on wearing hers to school on show and tell day. Even your husband is impressed at how fast your business is growing and how well you’re handling it.

You weren’t sure at the beginning that you could do it, but now you know that you can make KidChef into a real business selling across the country and maybe even internationally. Who knows, maybe even a spot on the Food Channel. The possibilities are dazzling and you can’t wait to make them all happen.

And that’s why, beyond all the great advice, how-to’s and information available to you I want you to read 1st Surefire Way to Sink Your Start-Up over at Small Business Boomers. (Yes, I know you’re not a Boomer, but read it anyway:)

You see, Kay, you’re facing one of the most dangerous things that can happen to an entrepreneur—run away success. This kind of success often gives rise to, as it’s called in Silicon Valley, founder ego—the underlying belief that since you were smart enough to think of the idea and take it this far you’re smarter than your advisors and employees. Not a good way to move forward.

So, read Jim’s wise words and feel free to give me a call at 866.265.7267 if you’d like to discuss it further.

Have you every succumbed to founder ego? Or worked for/with someone who did?

Your comments—priceless

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I found a great ‘who cares’ quote w/link about leadership vs. management at Raven’s Brain. It was followed up few days later by a post at Gura’s Blog,

I got into a Leadership program at work. One of the main points is defining the difference between management and leadership. The jist is that management deals with specific tasks and functions and that leadership deals with people. You don’t have to be a manager to be a good leader. As the Kali lessons have repeated time and time again, to be a good leader, you have to also be a good follower and thus the term of “managing up.” I personally dislike the business jargon that implies a one-way street in leadership and/or management. Yes, a leader must step forward, but before the step is taken they have to do a lot of listening and observation and be aware if anyone is actually following them in the direction they are going into.

Smart gal—one-way streets exist only in the imagination as long as the people involved can walk away.

It’s a fascinating blog by a real person, sans MBA, who is following a more patient career path than you find in the US. Reading through some of the other posts, you get a good sense of who/how she is at work and at home.

Gura is acting manager now that her boss retired and, based on the person revealed in the blog, if her senior managers have any sense they’ll make it permanent in June.

Just an aside, but Gura’s writing skills will bring tears to the eyes of most American managers when they realize that she’s in the Philippine’s.

Comments—priceless

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I wish you a day full of

love and laughter

and may 2008 be filled to the brim with

health, happiness, wealth and satisfaction!!!

Accounting $olver offers up a nice present that reminded me of one I’ve given to the occasional recalcitrant client over the years. So I thought I’d be a copycat and regift you with my version of the infamous round tuit.

Use it sparingly and only on the passionless stuff in your life!

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Steve Mann (who sounds like a whole lot of fun to hang with) comments on Bruce Nussbaum’s list of five innovation killers. Good list, good comments, but, in fact the list applies to far more than innovation—hypercritical as that is.

CEO sloth. There’s no pretty word for failure to focus on innovation by top management. Every major innovation index, including the new one coming out by Business Week in 08, shows significantly higher rates of return for companies that innovate. Yet CEO’s consistently mouth the word without providing the leadership and resources to make it happen. CEOs need to make the time to lead the innovation movement in their companies.

There’s no pretty word for failing to focus, period. The same thing can happen to any new initiative. It’s a cinch to implement new stuff if you keep it isolated, which eliminates the need for change throughout the organization. Too often CEO’s range from ostriches, clueless to what’s critical because of ignorance, fear, or ego to lip service that talks fluently to analysts and investors, but barely limps when it comes to execution.

Adding, not transforming. Most corporations today will allow innovation to be added to their structure. They will add a new innovation pipeline, a new social networking process, a new customer focus group, a new product or service. But companies usually don’t scale or leverage the innovation to transform the entire corporate culture–so the innovation remains isolated. In the end, the old pushes back and erodes the new, the best talent leaves, and managers wonder why innovation doesn’t work.

The same thing can happen to any new initiative. It’s a cinch to implement new stuff if you keep it isolated, which eliminates the need for change throughout the organization—the road to failure is paved with silos.

Choosing Metrics over talent. You must run a global corporation with a system of metrics in place. But measuring efficiency doesn’t make a company creative. You need talented people for that. Creative talent is rare in business culture. B-Schools are only beginning to produce them. Getting your efficiency metrics grid down is critical to success but doesn’t guarantee it anymore. Swimming in the global talent pool to get creative people for your company is just as critical to success today.

Creative talent is rare, period. Measuring it is almost impossible. As with leadership, creativity is usually recognized after the fact. You can hire the most-proven talent in the world, but they won’t produce in an environment that doesn’t support and nurture them.

Failing to use design thinking strategically. Most companies employ innovation and design consultancies at the midlevel to foster culture change. That underestimates the power of design thinking to guide companies through this unusual period of constant and unexpected change. Innovation consultants and coaches should be used at the top of the executive pyramid.

Until about 30 years ago, quality was done at the end of the manufacturing process; quality checks and testing came after the product had been built. Now quality is an active part of the initial architecture/development. Design needs to make the same jump now, not in a decade or so.

Underestimating Crisis. We don’t live in a world of change, we live in a world of crisis. It’s “change” on steroids” and its impact on us is greater than at any other time in a century. We are living through an energy crisis, a technology crisis, a political crisis, an economic crisis, a food crisis, a demographic crisis, a terrorist crisis–all overlapping and happening at the same time. How to manage in constant crisis mode is the critical management problem of our era.

Perfectly stated. And playing ostrich or running in circles saying ‘woe is me’ or ‘it’s not our fault’ isn’t going to cut it as a solution.

Have you worked with management that does some or all of these points well?  Or worse?

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In this age of “personalized customer experience,” it figures that there would be a special place for job seekers who earn more than $100K and there is— ex-HotJobs.com executive Marc Cenedella founded TheLadders.com in 2003. Although the results of their 2004-2007 executive survey highlights on life, love and money are fascinating on their own, I couldn’t resist adding a few comments.

1. When it comes to MBA, 57% of executives said the advanced degree is nice, but not necessary in the real world. I wonder how many have one?
2. 61% of executives said it was Spanish, followed by 16% who chose Chinese.
3. On stock options, 32.5% said stock options are an integral component to a pay package; 24.9% would prefer more cash; and 20.5% said options are “gravy” but not a big motivator. If they’re not a big motivator why do so many fudge to get more?
4. 70% of executives said the prospect of an overseas assignment would be an exciting opportunity.
   
5. 75% of executives surveyed said physical fitness is critical for career success at the executive level. I’d say that applies to any level (or just plain living), but I sure see a lot of hefty execs (except in California).
   
6. On office romance, 68% of executives said they’ve harbored secret crushes on their co-workers; 17% confess to having inter-office affairs. (how many are lying? Hehe)
7. On power dressing, 79.1% of executives said they prefer to wear either business casual or outright casual attire for work and another 62% said that business casual is now standard office dress code.
8. On family, 62% of men in the country’s top income bracket said they would put their careers on hold to become stay-at-home dads. (really???) LOL/ROF
9. Work or vacation? 79% of executives planned to take a vacation in 2007 and few of them planned to stay connected to the office. 51% said they’d check in once or twice and 34.5% said they wouldn’t check once.
   
10. On glass ceiling, 72% of executives said men get paid more than women for the same work, and 66.3% said women do not have as many opportunities as men to become company CEOs. I wonder what planet the rest work on.
11. On age discrimination, 69% of executives said they’ve fallen victim to age discrimination, yet 51% said they plan to continue working after “retirement.”
12. On job loyalty, 52% of executives in the $100k+ job market said they actively search new job listings at work. Can’t really blame them considering the average CEO tenure is only 44 months.
13. On religion in office, it depends on where you live: 44% of executives from “Red States” said religion does belong in the workplace, while just 24% of their “Blue State” counterparts agreed.
14. 89.2% of executives said it is a company’s duty to be socially responsible, and 87.3% said they would not work for a company that had a reputation for negative social responsibility. Wow! There are either a lot of execs not working or “negative social responsibility” has a more flexible definition than I’d realized.
15. On biggest holiday mistake, drinking too much alcohol is the number one mistake, according to 79% of executives; flirting with co-workers ranks second with 53% of the vote; followed by dirty dancing (42%) and inappropriate outfits (41%). I wonder if they mean their staff or themselves?

The results of each survey are statistically significant; detailed results and margins of error for each question are available upon request.

What do you think? Were they honest? Do the execs you know walk this talk?

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