All my life I’ve written rhymes for certain days and special events or people. Last Halloween I wrote Scary Times Require Rhymes for Leadership Turn and A Halloween Economy at MAPping Company Success.

I’m always surprised when I go back, read one and it doesn’t make me run screaming from the screen.

So, here is Halloween 2009 for your reading pleasure. I hope you enjoy it, because I had a lot of fun writing it.

Are you attending a party tonight

wearing a costume that inspires fright?

Halloween’s a night for spooks,

for witches, demons and other kooks;

vampires, werewolves, serial killers and more—

all those types who are drenched in gore.

But if you really want to inspire fear

you can do it best with much simpler gear.

All you need is a designer suite, well-styled hair,

a fancy watch and executive chair.

The back story’s simple, you just have to choose

which character best fits your particular ruse.

Hedge fund manager, Wall Street or insurance exec

depends on whose world you are planning to wreck.

Have fun tonight and stay safe!

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I write and talk a lot about what happens when you choose to change your MAP through awareness and the resulting boos to your energy and creativity.

What I can’t remember sharing with you is a critical ingredient in the change sauce that I call the Philosophy of ER.

I consciously developed it formally and have shared it for decades to offset all the talk about failure when people are working to change.

First, you have to understand that I don’t believe in failure; I don’t think that someone has truly failed unless they’re dead. As long as they’re breathing, the worst bums on skid row have the potential to change, i.e., the possibility is there, even if the likelihood is not.

For decades change has focused on setting goals and if they aren’t achieved as stated, then you had failed.

Over the years I’ve worked with a lot of people (including myself) whose self esteem was at best badly bruised, at worst like Swiss cheese.

They started by telling me how they had failed at this or that, but in more detailed discussions it turned out that, although they hadn’t achieved their stated goal within the deadline, the goals and deadlines (one or both) weren’t exactly reality based or had changed along the way and not been restated.

To be valid, goals must come with delivery dates, but those dates must be achievable—not easy, but achievable.

When you set goals without taking into account minor details, such as friends/family/spouse/kids/working/sleeping/eating, then you’re setting yourself up for failure.

Beyond being reality-based, we all need an ongoing sense of accomplishment, especially for that which can’t be done in a few days, to sustain the long term effort that big goals take—thus came the Philosophy of ER.

Over the last couple of decades I’ve ERed almost everything (even when it’s grammatically incorrect).

• I may not be wise, but I’m wisER.
• I may not be rich, but I’m richER.
• I may not be patient, but I’m patientER.
• I may not be skinny, but I’m skinniER.

You get the idea.

So start ERing today and tomorrow you too will be happiER, smartER, healthiER and successfulER.

Just keep reminding yourself that to err is human, but to ER is divine.

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Neglect. Drugs. Abuse. Molestation.

Where do you go when those four words describe your parents and your home life?

Where do you sleep; what do you eat?

When you’re cold and hungry you do what it takes to survive, including stealing and selling whatever you can find to sell—including yourself.

And these kids are as young as 10 years old.

The NT Times ran a two-part series called Running in the Shadows about teen runaways. It should be required reading for every American (part 1 and part 2).

Children on Their Own

This is the first of two articles on the growing number of young runaways in the United States, exploring how they survive and efforts by the authorities to help them.

Many cling together to avoid predators, but many more are seduced by pimps—it doesn’t take much.

“My job is to make sure she has what she needs, personal hygiene, get her nails done, take her to buy an outfit, take her out to eat, make her feel wanted,” said another pimp, Antoin Thurman, who was sentenced in 2006 to three years for pandering and related charges in Buckeye, Ariz. “But I keep the money.”

Out of frustration, Sgt. Byron A. Fassett of the Dallas Police Department started looking for patterns in child prostitution cases.

One stuck out: 80 percent of the prostituted children the department had handled had run away from home at least four or more times a year.

Fasset created a special “High Risk Victim” unit within the Dallas PD that has seen enormous success, both in getting kids out of that life and putting the pimps behind bars.

The unit’s strength is timing. If the girls are arrested for prostitution, they are at their least cooperative. So the unit instead targets them for such minor offenses as truancy or picks them up as high-risk victims, speaking to them when their guard is down. Only later, as trust builds, do officers and social workers move into discussions of prostitution.

Repeat runaways are not put in juvenile detention but in a special city shelter for up to a month, receiving counseling.

Three quarters of the girls who get treatment do not return to prostitution.

The results of the Dallas system are clear: in the past five years, the Dallas County district attorney’s office has on average indicted and convicted or won guilty pleas from over 90 percent of the pimps arrested. In virtually all of those cases, the children involved in the prostitution testified against their pimps, according to the prosecutor’s office. Over half of those convictions started as cases involving girls who were picked up by the police not for prostitution but simply as repeat runaways.

Those statistics are amazing. Here we have a case of initiative taken; leadership shown, and impressive success. Not a fancy approach, but a pragmatic one based on a proven pattern.

So why hasn’t it been applied across the nation?

In 2007, Congress nearly approved a proposal to spend more than $55 million for cities to create pilot programs across the country modeled on the Dallas system. But after a dispute with President George W. Bush over the larger federal budget, the plan was dropped and Congress never appropriated the money.

Just $55 million dollars, that’s all; a drop in the bucket in comparison to most earmarks.

But, in their wisdom, our wonderful, elected leaders in Washington didn’t believe it had enough reelection value to make it worth fighting for—maybe this is what’s meant by throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

Of course, these kids can’t vote, may not live long enough to vote, so it’s no big deal to the folks on their perpetual campaign trail.

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Now check out this truly stupid action

Please join me tomorrow for America’s Tragic Shame.

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How do you define success? Do you (or your boss) look only at the numbers and other recognized metrics or do you go a step further and evaluate the harder-to-define areas? Numbers and other business metrics are important, but they measure mostly the present, i.e., short-term results. What does long-term success look like? How can you evaluate yourself in terms of long-term success? Do you care? If your answer to the third question is “no” then you probably won’t be interested in the rest of this post, but if it is “yes” read on. Whether you are a newly promoted supervisor or Fortune 100 CEO, one easy way to know if you are succeeding is to ask your team. Asking is like a 360 degree review without all the bells, whistles and forms. It’s immediate and gives you a fairly accurate reading of the trust level of your team. If you hesitate to do that or your people won’t provide honest feedback then

• Your hesitancy means you already know there is a problem and aren’t comfortable with, or not interested in, changing to accommodate the feedback.
• If your people won’t be honest then you have propagated a belief that the messenger will be killed and that belief is typically entrenched in a larger culture of fear.

Either way, the source of the problem is you—not your team or even the general company culture (unless you are CEO), just you. You made it happen and if you want to fix it I suggest you have a long talk with your MAP because that is where the problem lies. The good part is that it’s your MAP and your choice to change it. Your comments—priceless Don’t miss a post, subscribe via RSS or EMAIL Image credit: ZedBee|Zoë Power on flickr

Honing “CEO skills” isn’t just for CEOs—it’s for every manager who wants to do a better job and every employee who wants to be promoted.

Sure, you may not know as much, or have access to, the same information as the boss, but don’t let that stop you.

It’s similar to managing a fantasy sports team, you know all the easy information and a little research usually gives you a lot more with which to work.

You can make it even more interesting and fun by recruiting colleagues to choose other companies to shadow and compete.

Whatever level you’re at, you may know a lot about your company already and a lot more is in the public domain.

What’s most important in running a company? Obviously, the list below isn’t everything, but it does offer ten of the most important things to get you started running the fantasy version of the company you choose.

• You may not be a CFO, but you better know your numbers: where they come from, how they interact, and where they’re going. This includes knowing/learning to read financial statements, annual reports, etc.
• No matter what your career path, know about your company’s market (no matter how cool and cutting-edge your service, product or e-concept is) so you can understand who buys it and why, what the competition offers and how your company products or services differ.
• Every successful company must have a competitive edge, whether it’s unique products/services, pricing advantages, company culture (think Zappos), etc. Learn how to define your company’s competitive edge and understand how to communicate it clearly to the whole company so that everyone is focused on making it happen.
• Clearly identify the goals of the company, then work to turn them into specifics. Assure buy-in by making sure employees understand the interaction among their goals, the company’s goals, and those of other people.
• Hire the smartest people available and give them an environment that enables them to produce; then watch your company’s strengths increase in direct proportion to your people’s growth. Remember, people are most productive if they know, and help determine, their work and the range of their control.
• Make sure that there’s an obvious and direct relationship between the rewards people receives—salary, stock, bonuses, medals, whatever—and the success of the company. The biggest rewards should go to those who understand the company’s goals and ethically do whatever it takes to achieve them.
• Create a culture in which the messenger is never shot; that way you’ll always get the earliest possible warning of potential problems.
• You set the tone of the organization. If you’re political, secretive, nitpicking, or querulous, then that’s how your organization will be, because, no matter what, employees will always do as you do, not as you say.
• Never criticize an employee in the presence of others. Praise in public, criticize in private.
• Companies are like tripods, with customers, investors, and employees each representing a leg. If you don’t pay equal attention to each the company will tip over.

Track your choices, decisions and actions against the reality. Give yourself a high five when your ideas pan out, and learn when they don’t.

You’ll be amazed at how fast the learning from your fantasy business pays off in your real work!

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Based on reader reactions, last week’s wisdom quotes were a hit; as promised, here are the rest.

There are many wise words attributed to Chinese Proverbs and these certainly qualify, “A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follows public opinion.” These days, public opinion vies with “leaders” for the same followers—those who don’t want to bother thinking for themselves.

Bill Cosby has the right response to that, “A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need the advice.” Of course, they don’t listen, but that never stopped anyone from trying.

Following Gandhi’s teaching is a good way to move towards wisdom, “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” Now, that is really smart advice, ensures that you have a great past, a wonderful present, and is the closest you can come to guaranteeing the future.

Leo F. Buscaglia said, “We seem to gain wisdom more readily through our failures than through our successes. We always think of failure as the antithesis of success, but it isn’t. Success often lies just the other side of failure,” and I think he’s on to something. As dark as things seem now we’re all going to emerge from this stronger.

Abraham Lincoln really understood that; he said, “Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.” Too bad so many on and around Wall Street failed that test, but it does take us full circle to the proverb that started this week and a powerful motivation to make your own decisions.

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I have some great links for you today, but I only want you to read them if you hold tight to the Leadership Turn caveat while you do it.

In case you don’t remember, the caveat is that leadership information is useful to you whether you are still in school, a stay-at-home parent, a worker, middle manager, or the person in the corner office. Everyone leads at one time or another, so tweak the information to fit what you need at this moment.

First, some useful information from a book review called 7 Lessons for Navigating the Storm, the 7 actions listed can be implemented by anyone in or out of crisis.

Speaking of navigating, the Navel Leadership blog lists 11 Principles “To help you be, know, and do…,” I think you’ll like them.

Especially for my women readers, and anyone who plans on functioning in the now-and-future world, a write-up of two books, Women Lead and Remarkable Women. If you want to read them try your local library or Amazon.

Parents are the first leaders most of us follow—more or less. I wonder how a parent who yells handles similar frustrations at work. Because, like any other leader, the longer we are with them the more effort it takes to earn our trust and respect.

Finally, from Psychology Today, learn about “the cheap psychological tricks used by bad leaders.”

Enjoy!

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Sometimes we amaze ourselves. Not because someone else says something, but because we revisit something we did a week or a month or longer in the past and we see it from the outside—and we are amazed.

We look at it and marvel; the quality and execution impresses; the inherent value surprises; and we revel in the fact that it is our creation.

It doesn’t matter what it is, big or small; whether it was produced at work or elsewhere; it doesn’t even matter if anyone else will ever see it.

We look and we are amazed.

This happens to me when I read something I wrote a month, a year, a decade ago. Not everything, but more than I would expect.

It doesn’t matter if anyone else agrees or says anything, although it’s great when they do, but I read and am amazed.

Today I want to share my amazement with you.

A few months ago I received an email from the editor of The Conference Board Review inviting me to submit an article for the next issue.

The Conference Board Review is the quarterly magazine of The Conference Board, the world’s preeminent business membership and research organization. Founded in 1976, TCB Review is a magazine of ideas and opinion that raises tough questions about leading-edge issues at the intersection of business and society.

And not just for the online version, but to appear in the actual magazine.

When I opened the hard copy and read my article that is when the real amazement hit.

The article is called Management vs. Leadership and is the second of four articles on leadership. I hope you’ll take time to read them all, then come back and comment.

One more thing, just for the thrill of it, review things you did in the past and be amazed.

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Every day we make choices and, as kids, learning to make wise ones is one on the most important things that should happen as we grow.

But it doesn’t always happen.

The great thing is that you can change and learn to make good choices at any time in your life—it is an integral part of leading yourself.

One of the most important choices anyone makes is found in the people they choose to have as part of their life.

Although I could write my own ideas of what that means, I’d like to share something I received from a friend. I can’t find who the author is, so I’ll credit the prolific Anon.

Everyone Can’t Be in Your Front Row

Life is a theater – invite your audience carefully. Not everyone is spiritually healthy and mature enough to have a front row seat in our lives. There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance.

It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you let go, or at least minimize your time with draining negative, incompatible, not-going-anywhere relationships/friendships/fellowships!

Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention to: Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage?

Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill?

When you leave certain people, do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don’t really understand, know and appreciate you and the gift that lies within you? When you seek growth, peace of mind, love and truth, the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the FRONT ROW and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.

You cannot change the people around you…but you can change the people you are around! Choose wisely the people who sit in the front row of your life.

Copy the last sentence and tape it to your monitor and the bathroom mirror; forward the post to every person you care about—not with a lecture, but with a hug; discuss it’s meaning with your kids—they are never too young to learn this.

Take a long, hard look at who sits in your front row; if you don’t want them there you don’t need to have a major confrontation, just quietly lower their priority in your life and assign them to a seat at the back—even if they have you in their front row.

I know that I’m in the front row of several people who sit in the rear of my audience, but I say nothing, because nothing would be gained. They would be deeply hurt for no reason; they have little-to-no impact on me because they are far back and where they choose to seat me is none of my business.

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