Leadership Turn

Is Your Body Language Shooting You in the Foot?

by Mary Jo Manzanares on September 17th, 2006

Body language is a vital part of your communications.  They send out a powerful message, and should be working to support your verbal message, rather than work against it. 

If you feel like you are always being misunderstood, perhaps your body language is contradicting your verbal message.

Do you find that your typical communication stance is with your arms crossed across your chest, shoulders hunched, and a sort of distracted look on your face?  If so, it’s no wonder that your message isn’t hitting the mark.

Take a look at some other nonverbal signals and see if these describe you:

• Shrugging shoulders
• Rolling eyes
• The “look” (whether it’s a glare or a distracted look of disinterest)
• Pursed lips
• Squinty eyes
• Tapping foot
• Pacing back and forth
• Clamping mouth shut with a strong set of the jaw
• Sighs
• Slumped posture

Even when you aren’t the one speaking, your body language may be speaking for you.  When you are listening, are you tapping your foot in frustration, or perhaps sighing throughout the message?  If this describes the position you assume when someone is talking with you, what message are you sending back?  Chances are you’ve negated their message before it has even been delivered.

It’s the rare person that can diagnose their body language ills, so to do a skill check you’ll need to enlist the help of a trusted ally. 

Ask someone to observe your nonverbal signals, writing down the specifics of your body language and the message that you were delivering.  Then go over the information, and see where you can make changes and improvements.  If the list seems overwhelming, just start working on one item at a time.

If you have no one to give you honest, safe feedback, try these three basic techniques when in conversation:

• Stand with your body in an open position.  Arms and hands in a neutral or open position (not crossed on chest), shoulders back, and head up
• Maintain eye contact with the person (or people) you are talking with, keeping eyes open.
• Remain casually stationary, unless there is a necessity to move.  Any movement should add to the conversation rather than distract from it.

Our words are only a part of the message.  Make sure your body language enhances the impact of your message rather than shooting you in the foot.

Share This

Related Stories

• Communicating with other teams
• Lead, manage, sell—the basic functions of living
• The Power Of Positive Behaviour
• The Visual Learner
• Your Tone of Voice Matters

POSTED IN: Communication, Leadership Skills, Uncategorized