Do you frequently find yourself involved in verbal battles with other people?  If so, defensive communication may be part of the problem.
Defensive communication occurs when one party to a conversation feels threatened, attacked, or is trying to protect their self-image.
Oh sure, we all react defensively on occasion, and it is, in fact, a legitimate defense mechanism.  But when all our communication carries the taint of defensiveness, it can ruin both personal and professional relationships. 
If you have a goal of eliminating defensiveness in your own communications, as well as not provoking it in others, consider these ideas.

Keep a communication log with details about …read more

All too frequently today, people are starved for a little praise.  Whether we are willing to acknowledge it to others, or even admit it to ourselves, we all need a little praise in our life.
Awhile back, Milo wrote a post about his belief that a leader should not give someone a pat on the back because they need it, but only because they deserve it.
I disagree.
My leadership approach is different.  I believe that an effective leader learns how to best motivate an employee, team member, volunteer, etc., and then uses that information to help that individual succeed.  And sometimes, that …read more

The object is to try to do everything a little better tomorrow than it was today.  Continuous improvement is the path to a higher standard of leadership.
 

Have you ever obsessed about something to the point where it took on a life of its own?  Where a small irritant became bigger than life?  When that one irritant consumed a disproportionate amount of your time?
When this happens within a team environment, it can destroy your individual productivity and motivation, as well as poison the relationships within the team.  Ultimately, the whole team will suffer.
Since it is inevitable that irritants will arise when working closely with others, how can you guard against the “mountain out of a molehill” scenario?
The first thing to do is identify the source of irritation or …read more

Never underestimate the value of a compliment.
A compliment, given sincerely and publicly, shows regard and esteem for the recipient.  It builds goodwill, appreciation, and frequently a willingness to go the extra mile.  You will be seen as someone who cares about other people and their accomplishments, and not just your own.  Humor can be helpful in delivering a compliment, but should never be used at the risk of lessening sincerity.
A compliment given in a backhanded manner, or followed up with criticism, will be treated for what it is – a blatant attempt at manipulation, a simple put down, or the …read more

If you are leading a team, it will be important for you to recognize the learning style of your team members.
When you know how people best process information, you will then know how to best communicate with them when giving assignments, providing feedback, and motivating them to achieve higher levels of success.
Let’s walk through a couple of scenarios on how you can turn this theory into actionable knowledge.
The Visual Learner:  Will respond favorably to an instruction manual, written strategic plan, visual timeline and progress charts.  They will likely be motivated by the group’s charting progress to goals, a check off …read more

Now that you are aware of the different learning styles, what can you do with that information?
If you’re a teacher or trainer, your natural tendency will be to play to your own learning style.  For example:  If you are a kinesthetic learner, the chance are you will plan lots of hands on exercises, throw in a little role play, and end the day with group presentations.  Sounds good – for those who are also kinesthetic learners.  But if you’re a visual learner, this experience will make you feel like a fish out of water.
Learning should be an inclusive process, so …read more

We’ve already discussed the Visual and Verbal learner, and if those styles just didn’t seem quite right, you are probably a Kinesthetic learner.
In its most simple explanation, a kinesthetic learner learns by doing.
What does this mean?  A kinesthetic learner is a hands-on kind of person.  They need an interactive experience to maximize the learning process, and frequently grow bored in a lecture situation.  If kinesthetic learners are stuck in a traditional classroom or educational mode, they will need to take regular breaks, stand and stretch on occasion, and may need to have chewing gum or a snack handy to provide a …read more

If the concept of Visual learning didn’t seem to ring true for you, you may be an Auditory learner.
In its most simple explanation, an Auditory learner learns by hearing.
What does this mean?  Auditory learners respond well to verbal explanations, discussions, talking things through and listening to what others have to say.  They think in words, rather than pictures.  They’ll love a good debate, or even a heated discussion, and won’t find these to be confrontational, but will see them as a learning tool.  Auditory learners want to hear the tone and pitch of a voice, as well as the speed …read more

There are three primary learning styles:  visual, auditory (verbal) and kinesthetic (tactile).  These learning styles impact how you process information, how you communicate information to others, and how you respond and interact within groups.  We all have a primary and secondary learning style. 
The development of this information came about from a variety of psychological and sociological studies, which I don’t intend to go into here.  There are lots of scholarly articles written on this subject, which will go over the research and explain some of the nuances of each learning style.
What I hope to do, however, is to simplistically point …read more